We are still not pregnant. I am trying to stay positive. I am trying not to dwell on the unfairness, because no benefit will come of that. Everyone has problems and many people have dreams that are not fulfilled. I still wouldn’t trade anything about my life for anyone else’s. But I’m disappointed and becoming more listless on this “journey.”
I don’t have much else to say right now, but just wanted to give an update. We are beginning our fifth cycle.
Surviving Recurrent Miscarriage 
I’m sorry. I never had troubles getting pregnant before last year either. The longest it ever took me was 4 cycles. We ended up with a missed miscarriage last year though and then it took me 8 cycles to conceive again in which I thought I was going to lose my mind quite frankly. Unfortunately we lost that baby. Then much to my surprise I got pregnant the very next cycle. But again we lost that baby. I just had another D&C 3 weeks ago. I’m scared to death it’s going to take me another 8 mo only to lose another baby. The month after month wait is agonizing. It’s agonizing not knowing if there will be another baby and not knowing if it will even live if there is another one. I’m ovulating now and we are avoiding because I just can’t handle another miscarriage right now. I wish I could naively assume it will all work out like before with my other children.
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I really hope that this cycle is different…that you become pregnant, that it sticks, that you don’t have to endure any more heartache or time spent traveling this unwelcome journey. I know the feeling you describe in your post, and you are not alone.
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I’m a few months behind you on a similar journey and I’ve gotta admit, I’m quite terrified of the whole process. We’ve been TTC for almost 4 years and we’ve lost 5 pregnancies with no live babies to take home. We met with Braverman last month and he’s prescribed a protocol quite similar to yours (intralipids, neupogen, lovenox). We’re less than a month away from starting our immune protocol and I’m completely overwhelmed. I’m not a fan of needles (although I’ve obviously been forced to become a bit less skittish thanks to all the shots, bloodwork, surgery of the last couple of years) so I’m DREADING all the meds. I’m also worried about the cost of this process. Each failed cycle before was painful, but there is going to be SO very much riding on each cycle going forward and therefore SO much more pressure to succeed. I am following you on your journey and rooting for you every step of the way. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to endure without reaping the rewards for your hard work.
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