This post was originally written in June 2011, after our third miscarriage. For an explanation of this section of the site, click here.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” (James 1:17)
“As the sun is the same in nature and influences, though the earth and clouds, often coming between, make it seem to us to vary, so God is unchangeable, and our changes and shadows are not from any changes or alterations in him. What the sun is in nature, God is in grace, providence, and glory; and infinitely more.” (from the Matthew Henry Concise Commentary on the Whole Bible, commentary on James 1.)
And earlier, on a previous verse: “The tried Christian shall be a crowned one. The crown of life is promised to all who have the love of God reigning in their hearts. Every soul that truly loves God, shall have its trials in this world fully recompensed in that world above, where love is made perfect.”
I believe we will hold our babies one day on the other side of glory. It doesn’t take away the ache right now, but I know it’s true. I believe it will get easier to cope, as fatigue is replaced with recovery, as I get used to the idea of not wearing my maternity clothes this summer, as I continue to give thanks for the myriad of blessings God has already granted me. And as I remember those blessings, I need to remember that I am a sinner saved by grace, and that none of these blessings were anything God owed me. I was once a rebel to His will, but now, through faith in Christ, am called His child. As Romans 8:32 teaches us, the very fact that God gave Jesus His Son to die for us should point us to the fact that God is for us and is never to be accused of wrong.
Trials and suffering tempt us to blame God. We must hold fast. We must pledge ourselves to the truth about God despite our feelings. He never does wrong. No shadow passes over His form or character. “The sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that shall be revealed to us.” (Romans 8:18)
I read this article today about a couple who lost a baby older than ours, and wrote down some truths to remind themselves about God. The alternative to studying the truth is to make up a reality more in line with our feelings, which stem from sinful hearts.